In which our heroine regales you with the Ballad of Brandon Bad Grammar.

So, as my little baby blog is growing, I will be sharing some stories about some of the silly things that have happened to me in the past. There will be PLENTY of new silly things for me to discuss as things progress, of this I’m certain. But, there are a few stories that are already fan favorites among my friends, so I’m going to tell them again for all of the interwebs to enjoy. Think of it as listening to a greatest hits album by a band you just realized you like buy other people have been digging for years.

Or don’t. Just a suggestion. I’m not the boss of you.

Anyway, this the story of the time I texted a wrong number in an attempt to express halloween excitement to my friend Clara Beth. The actual post to her facebook page concerning this incident follows:

Here’s a fun story for your Saturday morning:

I sent a text to what I have in my schmancy new iPhone as your phone number this morning. Said text discussed my plans to be Batgirl for Halloween and how my punk rock/roller derby Batgirl costume may or may not involve a tutu skirt. I fully expected a response of either excitement, confusion, or both. When the response I got was “who dis”, I sensed a problem.

Well, as it turns out, I did not send that text to you. After repeated texts of “who dis” & “who you looking for” that I ignored, I learned I actually texted a random dude w/ terrible grammar by the name of Brandon who informed me that he “didn’t know who I was looking for, dis Brandon & I have a girl so don’t text this number cause I don know you”.

This is the point where the story would stop if this happened to any other person in earth. But it didn’t happen to any other person, it happened to ME.

In true Allison Ball fashion, I made this situation go from awkward to aggro in about 2 seconds. As I went to delete the number from my phone, I spazzed & hit the call button on accident. I immediately hit end, but wasn’t fast enough to hit end before the call connected. I then received 3 return calls in the course of a minute and 2 more texts saying “WHO DIS” and “WHO YOU WANT” (note the caps to indicate I am now being yelled at by Mr. Brandon Bad Grammar).

My response was as follows: “Dude, I was looking for my friend, this used to be her number, I went to delete it from my phone after your charming messages, & I hit the call button on accident. My bad for bothering you and I am truly happy for you that you found yourself a girl, but you should calm down & let it go. K, thanks.”

I blocked the number from my laptop. Brandon Bad Grammar & I will not be communicating again for worst case 90 days, best case EVER.

Moral of the story: I need you to text me so I don’t go through this again when trying to spread my Halloween joy.

EPILOGUE: In case you were curious, I indeed ended up being Batgirl with tutu for Halloween. It was 9 kinds of fun.

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