In which our heroine’s spirit animal is Louise Belcher.


I am a grown up who never grew up. A lot of the things I loved as a child are things I still love now. Drawing, toys, superheroes…I’m just as crazy about all of these things today as I was when I was little. But, the biggest obsession that has carried over from my childhood has been my love of cartoons. From Looney Tunes to Nicktoons, anime to Adult Swim, I have always loved animated television in particular. One of my favorite animated shows out right now is Bob’s Burgers.

If you are unfamiliar with Bob’s Burgers, you should be tremendously sad right now because you are missing out on something wonderful. To sum up the premise, Bob is a 3rd generation restauranteur who runs a burger joint on the Jersey shore with his wife Linda & 3 children Tina, Gene, & Louise. The restaurant is Murphy’s Law incarnate; the title sequence shows their grand opening, re-opening, & re-re-opening after a fire & mouse infestation shut them down twice. Bob (voiced by Archer’s H. Jon Benjamin) loves the restaurant & puts his all into it. This leads him to fits of frustration, melancholia, & desperation whenever the restaurant is struggling. Linda has a cheerful, enthusiastic disposition & she is unfailingly supportive of Bob & the kids. She’s also a bit of a pushover when it comes to the children & prone to taking pretty much every situation just a few steps left of too far. Tina is a painfully awkward, adorkable preteen girl who loves boys, horses, & zombies. Gene is a classic middle child who channels his need for attention into playing the keyboard, playing the triangle, playing the tambourine, & dressing up in a burger-suit outside the restaurant to drum up customers.

Which brings us to the namesake of this little post, the youngest Belcher, Louise.  Voiced by the always delightful Kristen Schall, Louise is the chaotic neutral 9 year old in a cutesy kawaii wrapper you never knew you needed in your life. A pigtailed amalgam of maniacal evil genius, adorable little girl, devoted sister & daughter, total con artist, funniest kid in school, & full blown crazy person, Louise is the Belcher that I identify with most. So much so that I have taken up Louise as my television spirit animal.  To make my case for this, here are some commonalities between Louise & myself:

  • We both love a good bargain.

dollar whiskey           dollar bourbon

  • We both know to appreciate the mystical, feminine gifts God bestowed upon all women.

mudflaps boobs           now i want them

  • We’re both pretty darn business savvy, if we do say so ourselves.

sex sells 1           sex sells 2

  • BOUNDARIES.  We’ve got them.  LOTS of them.

will1          will2

will3          will4

  • Neither of us suffer bullshit gladly.

estrogenius1         estrogenius2

estrogenius3         estrogenius4

  • When it comes to the success of the family, we both can get some crazy ideas.

bladefoot1          bladefoot2     bladefoot3    bladefoot4          bladefoot5

  • We’re both honest about where we came from.

creepyguy1         creepyguy2

moms ok 1         moms ok 2

  • We do what we want.  So shut up.

shrimp1         shrimp2

shrimp4         shrimp5

  • We both know how to create a good distraction.

diversion1         diversion2

diversion3         diversion4

  • If some punkass ever, EVER happens to be dumb enough to cross us…

louise earsy rider

  • we will NOT have that shit.

revenge1         revenge2

revenge3          revenge4


fury1         fury2

  • Louise’s first crush on a member of a boy band is eerily similar to how I feel whenever I like someone (give or take the slapping part).

crush2        crush3

crush4       booboo whats he into

booboo1       booboo2

booboo3       booboo4

  • And finally, both of us are not afraid to go after what we want.

slap1      slap2

slap3      slap4